do my parents not like my boyfriend/girlfriend? What should I do?
If your family or friends don't like your boyfriend, here's
a little advice.
why they don't like your boyfriend/girlfriend - be calm, polite, and
listen to what they have to say. If you act like a child by yelling,
running off, or getting angry it will make matters worse. Acknowledge
their concerns. Tell them how you plan to deal with them (Ie, I know
he has bad grades, next term he's getting a tutor).
you dating for the right reasons?
Make sure you aren't dating a guy or girl just to get back at your parents,
or because you were pressured by friends. See the article, Good and Bad
reasons to Date.
Your Boyfriend Get To Know Them
Have your boyfriend over for a visit so your parents can get to know them.
Your parents could just be over worried if they don't know your BF-- so
make sure they get time to really know him. They may just see he's a great
guy and change their mind. Your BF will have a chance to make a good,
honest impression on them.
Your Parents Wishes
Tell them that you'll respect their wishes and rules; that may make them
more comfortable with you dating. If they want you back by 11pm or don't
want you staying anywhere overnight with him, respect them! Running off
to go see your BF against their wishes will only make things worse.
Instead of fighting or defending your BF, say: "I know you love me
and want what is best for me. I really like him but I want your honest
opinion-- what do you think? what should I do?"
You may be surprised
at your parents response! I knew a girl whose parents didn't want her
to date at all, but when she did this, they were blown away by her maturity
and respected her decision to date.
Is it just your parents?
Or are siblings, family or friends not so fond of them too? If
it seems like a lot of people don't like your date, it's probably a sign!
So often young people are "blinded by love"-- they refuse to
believe or accept their partner is a loser and move on. Don't let this
happen to you, if people seem to dislike him/her, there's probably a reason.
Read this: 15 Signs Your Boyfriend
is a Loser
If your boyfriend really has serious problems-- if he's into drugs or
alcohol, if he's rude or dangerous -- that is a big sign your parents/friends
are probably right. Just because you love someone doesn't make them good
for you; Look honestly and don't be blinded by love, see if your relationship
really is harmful, instead of pretending everything will be ok since you
"really love each other". Real love can only grow with honesty.
Go slow and give your relationship time. Don't rush into things, don't
have sex, don't get pregnant or married! If your relationship is still
in the "infatuation" stage (6 months to a year) there is a good
chance things can change and you might end up breaking up. So it's good
to wait that period of time before getting serious, either physically
Tell your parents that you're dating to see if things will work out long
term, and if they don't, you'll break it off. That is far more mature
than saying "but I love him so much we're going to get married!"
especially if you've been together a short time. Tell them you're just
dating for fun for now to get to know him better, you enjoy his company,
but you don't know if this will work out long term.
That will make you
sound more mature and reasonable, and it's hard to argue with someone
who is being logical and reasonable.
Your Parents Are Right:
. Below are signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend may be a bad choice:
- He is
rude to your family or friends
A boyfriend should try to get along with and impress them, disrespecting
them is a sign he doesn't care enough for you to even pretend to behave
- He drinks/smokes/does
no excuse for this type of behavior, especially if you're a teen
a teen, he's in his 20's
There's probably a reason he can't get a girl his own age. Older guys
that prey on highschool girls are not good news.
- He is abusive
- either verbally, or physically
Love isn't nervous, obsessive, or insecure. If being with him makes
you feel guilty or bad, break it off.
- You find yourself
lying or making excuses for him around your family and friends.
- You feel that they're
right, but you don't want to admit it
- He is pressuring
you to do things you don't want to do
Share This Page
Or copy/past to link
to us from your site, forums, email, etc:
This page's URL:
New funny picture site: StuffOnMyRack.com