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Why do my parents not like my boyfriend/girlfriend? What should I do?
If your family or friends don't like your boyfriend, here's a little advice.

Ask your parents:
why they don't like your boyfriend/girlfriend - be calm, polite, and listen to what they have to say. If you act like a child by yelling, running off, or getting angry it will make matters worse. Acknowledge their concerns. Tell them how you plan to deal with them (Ie, I know he has bad grades, next term he's getting a tutor).

Are you dating for the right reasons?
Make sure you aren't dating a guy or girl just to get back at your parents, or because you were pressured by friends. See the article, Good and Bad reasons to Date.

Let Your Boyfriend Get To Know Them
Have your boyfriend over for a visit so your parents can get to know them. Your parents could just be over worried if they don't know your BF-- so make sure they get time to really know him. They may just see he's a great guy and change their mind. Your BF will have a chance to make a good, honest impression on them.

Respect Your Parents Wishes
Tell them that you'll respect their wishes and rules; that may make them more comfortable with you dating. If they want you back by 11pm or don't want you staying anywhere overnight with him, respect them! Running off to go see your BF against their wishes will only make things worse.

Ask Their Advice
Instead of fighting or defending your BF, say: "I know you love me and want what is best for me. I really like him but I want your honest opinion-- what do you think? what should I do?"

You may be surprised at your parents response! I knew a girl whose parents didn't want her to date at all, but when she did this, they were blown away by her maturity and respected her decision to date.

Is it just your parents?
Or are siblings, family or friends not so fond of them too?
If it seems like a lot of people don't like your date, it's probably a sign! So often young people are "blinded by love"-- they refuse to believe or accept their partner is a loser and move on. Don't let this happen to you, if people seem to dislike him/her, there's probably a reason. Read this: 15 Signs Your Boyfriend is a Loser

Don't Be Blind
If your boyfriend really has serious problems-- if he's into drugs or alcohol, if he's rude or dangerous -- that is a big sign your parents/friends are probably right. Just because you love someone doesn't make them good for you; Look honestly and don't be blinded by love, see if your relationship really is harmful, instead of pretending everything will be ok since you "really love each other". Real love can only grow with honesty.

Give It Time
Go slow and give your relationship time. Don't rush into things, don't have sex, don't get pregnant or married! If your relationship is still in the "infatuation" stage (6 months to a year) there is a good chance things can change and you might end up breaking up. So it's good to wait that period of time before getting serious, either physically or emotionally.

Tell your parents that you're dating to see if things will work out long term, and if they don't, you'll break it off. That is far more mature than saying "but I love him so much we're going to get married!" especially if you've been together a short time. Tell them you're just dating for fun for now to get to know him better, you enjoy his company, but you don't know if this will work out long term.

That will make you sound more mature and reasonable, and it's hard to argue with someone who is being logical and reasonable.

 

Signs Your Parents Are Right:
. Below are signs that your boyfriend/girlfriend may be a bad choice:

  • He is rude to your family or friends
    A boyfriend should try to get along with and impress them, disrespecting them is a sign he doesn't care enough for you to even pretend to behave well
  • He drinks/smokes/does drugs -
    no excuse for this type of behavior, especially if you're a teen
  • You're a teen, he's in his 20's
    There's probably a reason he can't get a girl his own age. Older guys that prey on highschool girls are not good news.
  • He is abusive - either verbally, or physically
    Love isn't nervous, obsessive, or insecure. If being with him makes you feel guilty or bad, break it off.
  • You find yourself lying or making excuses for him around your family and friends.
  • You feel that they're right, but you don't want to admit it
  • He is pressuring you to do things you don't want to do

 

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