Bad Habits that will Ruin Your Marriage
by Gloria Liven
A good relationship is worth working hard for. But these few bad habits can destroy a marriage or relationship.

Spending Too Much or Too Little Time Together
Spending too much time together can make you feel smothered. Independance is attractive; being clingy and needy is annoying and can make the other person want to avoid you. Besides, they can't miss you if you aren't gone... so take some time apart to develop your own interests and hobbies.

On the other hand, never having time alone with the other person makes it hard for you to have time to bond. If you're always with friends, spending all your time at work or with your hobbies, you can make your spouse feel like they're low on your list of priorities. A healthy relationship has a good balance of together and alone time.

Forgetting The Little Things
Little things are important, and over the long run they can make or break a relationship. Holding hands, giving a hug, getting a little surprise present, even just touching and kissing your partner is important. These little things can make them feel appreciated and loved.

Being Too Jealous
Some jealousy is normal in a relationship. But if it gets to the point where you read their emails, check their phone logs, question them about where they are, or accuse them of cheating (when they aren't)-- you're showing that you don't trust them. If you can't trust them, figure out if it is a problem with them (are they cheating on you?) or if it's a problem with you being too controlling.

Contstantly Nagging and wanting to change them
Critisizing how they look, telling them how they can be and do so much better all the time; It will wear on them, it's like telling them that they aren't good enough. Constant nagging will make someone ignore your complaints even more.

You're in love with what they could be-- not what they are! And if your guy or gal really needs so much work to be a good partner -- why are you settling for them in the first place? Don't stick with someone who has problems because you think they will change.

Not Consulting Your Partner About Purchases
For many couples, the topic that causes the most arguments is money. Some couples will go out of their way to keep purchases secret from their partners. Making a small purchase for yourself, like a new pair of shoes, is fine, but if you're spending large amounts of money and not telling your spouse, you could be in for trouble-- not just with your marriage, but with your finances as well.

Make sure you treat your marriage like a partnership, and as such, share financial decisions with your partner.

Being Too Dramatic
There are times when freaking out is appropriate. But if every little thing brings you to tears, or every fight is a screaming match-- you better work on controlling your emotions. If you threaten to end the relationship over little things they do to annoy you, if you contsantly freak out when they do something wrong -- you're going to kill your relationship unless you learn to mellow out.

Gossiping
If you and your partner have a fight, that's between you and them-- not your friends, your parents, and your siblings. Calling your friends when you have a fight and telling them about details of your relationship is wrong. You shouldn't bring your family into marriage decisions and arguments. If you can't keep your relationship private, you're going to embarrass yourself and your partner and have trouble maintaining a happy bond.

Having No Sex Life
According to a 2003 Newsweek study, between 15-20% of married couples have practically sexless marriages-- having sex less than 10 times a year.

Waiting to have sex in a new relationship is a good thing-- but losing interest once you're married for years is bad for your relationship. Work to bring back your physical intimacy or your marriage may suffer. And that often starts with your attitude. If you're always fighting or unhappy with your spouse, it can be difficult to be in the mood.

Not Fighting Fair
When you have fights (as all couples do), how you handle the fight can determine whether your relationship will last, or not. When you fight, make sure you aren't always trying to be right; Don't call names; Don't bring up past problems that aren't related; And focus on solving the problem. Instead of, "You never do laundry!", you might say, "Can we work out a way for us both to contribute equally to housework?".

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