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15 Signs A Guy is a Loser
by Gloria Liven
Don't date a loser or keep a loser boyfriend!

Sometimes it is hard to tell in the beginning of the relationship if a guy is a loser. When you're in a new relationship, you're both on your best behavior; you both are infatuated with each other and careful to present your best qualities. This is called the "honeymoon" stage which doesn't last forever-- and when it wears off, you don't want to be stuck with a loser. Every girl can do better!


  1. Your family or friends dislike him
    Your family and friends are able to see warning signs that someone in the relationship can't see (or will ignore). Beware if everyone's telling you he isn't as great as you think he is. They aren't being mean-- they are being honest, and unlike your judgment, theirs is not clouded by the emotions of infatuation.

  2. Wants sex quickly
    Did he try to get physical within only a few days or weeks of knowing you? Is sex something he pressures you about? Does he become annoyed or say you don't love him if you won't put out? You definitely need to drop this guy! A guy who wants to use you as a sex toy is not one you want to build a stable, long-term relationship with.

    And if he pressures you, is abusive to you, or uses sex as a tool to make you guilty or control the relationship, you should get rid of him as quick as possible.

  3. He's got bad stories or reputation
    Have you heard bad stories from you friends? Are there people who think he's crazy, aggressive, or a womanizer?

    It may not just be from others; often, a loser boyfriend will tell stories that show his character-- stories where he was violent, rude, hurt other people, was lazy, or immoral. The fact that he tells those kind of stories not only tells you that he's done bad things-- but that he is proud of them!

  4. 'Loves' you too quickly
    Guys that fall in love fast-- also fall out of love fast. If he's shallow, he'll be quick about telling you how much he loves you-- even if you've not been dating long.
    Some abusive men will say "I love you" to try to trap a women into a relationship. Telling you they love you too quickly is a bad sign that he's either shallow and doesn't know what true love is (which can take months or years to form, after both partners know each other), or he's trying to hook you so you won't leave.
    A normal person will wait a good amount of time before they commit or love another person.
    This type of loser guy may want to move in with you or marry you in a matter of weeks!

  5. Lacks effort
    He doesn't seem to put much work into the relationship and your happiness. He doesn't call you back, he might forget important dates like your birthday. He may buy you presents that are cheap, thoughtless, or unwrapped, so he can say he gets you gifts without putting any effort into it. He may not take you out to eat, or put much thought into what makes you happy.
    A lot of losers are simply lazy when it comes to a relationship. If they don't put effort into the relationship now, they won't later, either.
  6. Abusive To Others
    Does he constantly get in fight with waitresses and service people? Does he suffer from road rage? Does he break or throw things when he gets angry? Is he abusive to animals? Does he make demeaning comments about women? Does he constantly blow up or pick fights with friends/family?
    These are all bad signs, and this is often how a physically abusive relationship starts.

    It's a huge warning sign if he's nice to you but rude and aggressive to others. As soon as the "honeymoon" period wears off-- within a few months to a year-- that's how he will be treating you.
    It's an old saying that you should watch how someone treats service people to see how you will be treated in the future; and it's generally true. A guy's attitude about women will not change-- if he treats women badly, he will treat you badly later in the relationship.
  7. Physically Violent
    If he breaks your things when he's angry, or ever shoves, hits, or hurts you-- you need to dump him immediately!
    Men that are violent may start by breaking things or shoving you first, but it can quickly escalate, in some cases even into murder. Do not put up with ever being put in a situation where you could be harmed or killed.
  8. Isolates You
    A loser guy will resent you hanging out with your friends or family, and try to keep you away from them. He may not have many interests outside of the relationship, or he may not want YOU to have interests outside the relationship.
  9. Paranoid or Controlling
    Does he ask where you've been? Check your cell phone calls or emails? Grill you if you talk to someone of the opposite sex? Ask you where you were if you weren't home?

    Some losers can get paranoid to the point of insanity-- checking through your garbage, spying on you, going through your things, or calling you constantly and yelling at you if you don't answer.
    They may attempt to control your life, telling you where you can go, who you can hang out with, what you can wear, what you can talk about in public, how to behave, etc.

    Some loser guys are overly controlling, or are jealous to the point of being ridiculous. Someone who loves you should trust you and allow you to be yourself.
  10. Alcohol, Drugs, or Porn is his idea of fun
    If he is unable to enjoy life and prefers to do drugs/drugs/porn instead of having real interests or hobbies, that's a sign you won't be able to have a happy or good relationship with him, either.
    And if he's into porn, it's a sign he's not able to enjoy a normal sexual relationship. Some studies have linked watching porn to violence and sexual problems.
  11. Desperate to not break up
    If you tell him you're thinking of leaving, the loser will freak out and act desperate; he will tell you how much he loves you, how he will change to keep you. He will promise that he'll be a completely different person.
    The loser is terrified of getting dumped, but often won't mind dumping you.
  12. Isn't Affectionate
    Of course, once the "honeymoon stage" is over, you probably won't be making out as much; but you should still have affection and intimacy in your relationship. If he shows a complete lack of affection and intimacy toward you, it will only get worse as your relationship gets older.
  13. Acts like a mooch
    In a relationship both members should be showing that they are independently able to support themselves.
    Beware if he seems to be expecting you to pick up the slack and do things for him. If you're always driving him, handling things for him, and paying for things for him it's only going to get worse.

    If he's on welfare on unemployment instead of working, it's a sign he'd rather mooch than actually have to work for the things he wants.
  14. Blames Everyone Else for his Problems
    A loser doesn't take responsibility. It isn't his fault he got fired; the boss was a jerk. It isn't his fault he's in debt; It's society's. It's always someone else's fault with a loser boyfriend-- anything bad that happens with, he'll blame his family, you, society, or other people for. It's a great way to get by on life sucking, but blaming other people for why you suck.
  15. Doesn't listen
    If someone loves you, they want to listen to your needs and want to know how you're feeling. It's not normal for a guy to not listen to you, if he cares about you.
    If they don't seem interested in your thoughts, worries, dreams, goals, then they aren't someone you can make a life with.

You might also want to read: Video Game Addiction - Signs your Boyfriend is Addicted!

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